Damn the man...

So...I finally found a medicine that was helping with my back/hip/muscle pain. It was like a miracle drug. I hadn't had any pain in my shoulders or hips in over a month. And then a new calendar year came around and my deductible started all over again. I found out my miracle drug was going to cost $185 for a month and a half supply. HOLY CRAP!!! I'm not buying crack here. Obviously that money is not available in my very thin budget. So I've had to go back to my old medicine which does very little in relieving my pain. It frustrates me to no end that I work hard, don't rely on anyone and still can't afford the basic medical things that I need. I just made the final payment on a biopsy that I had done in November of 2007. I have one payment left on the sleep study I had done a year ago. I work in the medical field so I know what things cost and what the insurance companies pay. Insurance companies make billions of dollars a year by denying necessary procedures and cutting reimbursement. Every day I see patients who have $30, $40, $50 dollar co-pays every time they see the doctor. And the same every physical therapy visit they have. This is only one small part of the medical world but our area is very rarely unnecessary. OK...I've kind of gotten off topic.

I look at my health history and wonder why I am always sick...always coming down with something. I think a lot of it stems from my sleep disorder. For those of you that don't know I was diagnosed with a sleep disorder called Non-Restorative Sleep Disorder. Basically my brain never shuts down. When we sleep our brain waves should be very minimal. Well, when I sleep my brain waves are the same as when I'm awake. So without medication I can't sleep for more than 2-3 straight hours. Every night I have to take 2 different sleeping medications in order to try and sleep through the night. Basically all they do is put me into what I call a drug-induced coma. Yes, I may not wake up til the alarm clock goes off, but I never feel rested when I wake up. Imagine going months and months without sleeping. This is what I feel like every day. And because of my crappy health insurance I can't really afford to look into other possible treatments aside from the medication. And even these aren't always approved. Because I need two different medications, my insurance will allow one but not the other. So I get the "discounted" price on one but have to pay the full price on the other. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that the insurance companies should decide what medication I should take instead of my doctor.

So my theory as to why I'm always sick is that my immune system is just so low from my body being physically exhausted all the time. Right now I have some kind of sinus infection/chest cold. I have been hacking up a lung the last two days which in turn causes my entire lower body to hurt. My back and hips hurt so bad that I was almost in tears yesterday. I am currently laying on two ice packs while I write this and just took a percocet to try and cut down some of the pain. But of course...if I needed any new medication I wouldn't be able to afford it so instead I will just suffer through it and wait for the next bump in the road to come along. I will not step down off my soap box...good day.