PMS...a blessing and a curse

Once a month my normally out of control emotions go even more haywire. Sometimes the tiniest thing can make me cry one second and scream the next. Or I can go from being in a great mood to being pissed for three straight days. There are times when this happens and I can use the excuse...it's PMS...I can't help it. And I'll be honest and say I use this excuse much more than I should...LOL. That is the blessing side of this. It's an easy out. But that doesn't mean I should use it.

Most people who know me know that my moods can be all over the place...stupid chemical imbalance. I'm sure some people just think I'm a bitch...which may be true to an extent. So imagine when my hormones put my moodiness into hyper-mode. This is when the curse comes into play. Because when this happens, someone (or something) is usually on the opposing end of my mood. This someone or something may not always know it. For example...the dumbass driver who cut me off today when the road was a complete sheet of ice and was cursed for the 2 miles he was in front of me today. He has no idea that I banished him to the inner realms of hell. And my poor steering wheel that usually takes the brunt of the punishment when things like this happen. But the one that makes me feel the guiltiest is Glenn. God love him! He puts up with so much...my obsession with Illinois, my random crying episodes, my comatose state that my sleeping pills put me in at night which means he has to get up to take the dog out, my puking in his car from my lack of ability to say no to a free bar (stupid company Christmas party!!). But putting up with my moods, both normal and PMS super-dosed, has to be hard. I know how hard it is to live with myself so I can only imagine how hard it is for someone else to live with me.

I've never done well with talking to other people about what is going on with me. Sadly it's one of the traits I learned from my parents. I keep everything inside until it explodes. And it's not always pretty when it does. But luckily for me...he won't let me do that. He makes me talk to him even when I don't want to or don't know how. He loves me no matter how easily I get pissed off. He loves me when I get mad at him for something stupid. He loves me when I don't love myself. He makes the emotional rollercoaster that my brain puts me on worth riding.